Across Pacific Magazine

A Love Story

 

Standing on the beach in Oceanside, California, asking: Where do I go from here, Lord? My best friend, business partner, lover, mother of our lovely daughters…my wife was gone! After 31 years of being married to this beautiful lady who was in all ways my mate – gone! God what about our dreams? Our dreams of serving You full time? You promised! Wendie and I prayed for 15 years about becoming full time Kingdom servants after our kids left home to start their own lives. We were sure You said, “yes.” What about those dreams of Wendie’s, about doing this thing burning in our hearts? I don’t think you want me to do this alone. God, I don’t want to do looking for a woman. God, why?

            After some time had passed I looked up from the sun bleached sand to find our trusted friend of twenty plus years pouring out what the Holy Spirit told her to say to my family and friends. One of my wife’s last requests was that Paish would speak at her memorial service. Wait God, what are You saying? I cannot approach this godly woman about this. I find it easy to talk to her about grief, wife, family, the business, but not this. You know, God, that Paish is probably our family’s closest spiritual mentor and friend. She was event the missionary our daughters wrote to while doing their missionary research in children’s church. She has been single for forty-eight years. She must not want to be married.

            Several months after Wendie’s funeral I decided to ask God if it would be ok to pursue Paish. As soon as I started to pray about our relationship, I got this sick feeling. It did not seem like God was saying, “No,” but something was wrong. I found out what that was when we met for a visit in Oregon.

            On July 15, I arrived in Portland, Oregon. We had a good time with her family and my oldest daughter’s family, down from Seattle. As the Lord directed our path we arrived at the church the next day half an hour before service was to begin. So I asked Paish to take a walk with me. After some small talk I asked her if she was committed to being single for the rest of her life. She said she wanted to do what God wanted her to do. All right, now I was getting somewhere. So with shaking knees and red face I asked if it would be ok for us to pray about our possible future together. I explained that this was not a proposal but I did not feel free to pray about us and I thought it was because I did not have permission.

            Paish said some nice things about me, but also told me she did not see me as any more than a dear friend. However, she said it would be ok for me to pray about us. I did not even notice at the time that she had not said she would pray.

            All right, God kept me from blowing it one more time. Had I not followed His gentle pulling at my very tender heart strings after Wendie passed away, I probably would have missed the answers God was going to give.

            Back in California for the first time since we had talked, I tried to pray about our relationship. This time I felt the freedom to move forward. So I settled into some serious prayer about whether Paish and I were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. The only things for me to do were pray and wait for God to answer.

            I should, at this point, go back to an event that happened about two months after Wendie passed away. My oldest daughter asked me if I was going to date. I told her Paish was my first choice. She said that her sister and she had already agreed that no application was necessary if it was Paish. I thought, how wonderful it would be if God had already set up my girls to love the woman I thought I was supposed to pursue.

            Seven months later I called Paish and offered to help her move to Canada. She said she would like that. In March, 2002, with her seated beside me, I drove the truck loaded with her belongings to British Columbia. The day I was leaving, Paish took my hands in hers and we just sat and simply talked about life.

            After spending twelve hours a day for four days with this lovely Kingdom Princess, I was convinced! However, I still did not know what she was asking God for or what she was hearing from Him.

            As soon as I arrived in California I called and told her that I missed her. She said she missed me, too. It was four long months before we saw each other again and I heard those words from her lips that it was ok to move ahead.

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            How did this happen? One day I was a very contented single woman, turning 50, ready for my new adventure in faith in Canada. Five months later I found myself engaged to Ray Gifford realizing God was behind it all. How did this happen?

            When Ray and I went for that walk before church, I had no idea that the whole course of my life was about to change. By asking permission to only pray about a possible relationship, I felt so safe I readily said, “yes,” knowing full well that God would answer, “No!” It had nothing to do with Ray since I had always known him as a man of godly character. I was about to embark on a whole new adventure with God and it certainly did not seem to have marriage to anyone in it.

            About a month after our talk I realized that if Ray was praying, I needed to as well. I asked God to do three specific things if this was His plan.

            As the months passed and the items on the list were checked off, I began to wonder if God was actually trying to do something between us. The last thing on the list was: spend time together. So when Ray offered to help me make the move to Canada I thought, four days…twelve hours a day…that should show me something.

            It did!

            By the time we had arrived and installed everything, Ray’s leaving was not what I wanted. What a surprised woman I was!

            Realizing I missed him, could even fall in love with him, and sensing his complete openness to me, I began to pray very differently. Over the next three months God made it abundantly clear, in a plethora of ways, that He was behind all of this.

            One of those ways was a recurring mental picture that changed each time I spoke of God’s work between Ray and me. It started as a sun-baked desert, a cracked, dry, and barren place. That progressed to an empty field with a few blades of lonely grass, which became a lovely meadow, parted by a flowing stream. At last that once desert place had become a lush verdant garden filled with broad blades of grass, mature flowers, and refreshing shade trees. I knew this was not my imagination. God had to be in it.

            While in my quiet time one morning, my regular reading included Song of Solomon 2:7, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it is time.” God said clearly to me, “It’s time.”

            A rendezvous had been planned for Portland for the end of June. That meant that I waited for two endless weeks more to speak to him face to face. Ten hours of talking brought us to the delightful conclusion that we were on a path that had a natural end – marriage – but only God knew when.

            During that summer, talking to him nearly daily on the phone, I found I had fallen off a cliff – in love – with Ray. That dry area in my heart was becoming more verdant green as each day passed.

            September 6, 2002, was a workday for Ray. I had arrived the day before. Now sweaty and grimy, we had trekked together through dusty fields and mounds of dirt. After a bite to eat, Ray dropped to his knees and said, “Paish, will you marry me?” My heart pounding response was, “Yes!”

            Gently he took me in his arms and kissed me. How thankful I was that this precious exchange had been saved for this wonderful man, soon to become my husband and priest! Arm in arm we watched the sun set on one era. A new one had begun. Life would never be the same!

            How did this happen? One day at a time, one obedient step at a time, one glorious feeling at a time, as my loving heavenly Father unfolded it – as I was ready.

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Ray and Patience were married on September 13, 2003 in Portland, Oregon. Since then they have become a beautiful expression of God’s ability to meld two lives into one. Paish still does most of the teaching of young missionary trainees, but Ray’s quiet influence and godly counsel for the students, his prayer covering as Paish teaches, and their evident love for one another all serve as a living epistle of God’s work in two lives dedicated wholly to Him.

 

Since their wedding day they have ministered in Canada, Hawaii, Guatamala, New Jersey,

 

Perhaps you would like to help the Gifford’s ministry. We will provide a U.S. IRS tax deductible receipt for your check. Send it to: Beloved Ministries, P.O. Box 20218, Portland, OR 97294-0218 USA





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