A Love Story
Standing
on the beach in Oceanside, California, asking: Where
do I go from here, Lord? My best friend, business partner, lover,
mother of our
lovely daughters…my wife was gone! After 31 years of being married to
this
beautiful lady who was in all ways my mate – gone! God what about our
dreams?
Our dreams of serving You full time? You promised! Wendie and I prayed
for 15
years about becoming full time Kingdom servants after our kids left
home to
start their own lives. We were sure You said, “yes.” What about those
dreams of
Wendie’s, about doing this thing burning in our hearts? I don’t think
you want
me to do this alone. God, I don’t want to do looking for a woman. God,
why?
After some time had passed I looked up from the sun
bleached sand to find our trusted friend of twenty plus years pouring
out what
the Holy Spirit told her to say to my family and friends. One of my
wife’s last
requests was that Paish would speak at her memorial service. Wait God, what are You saying? I cannot
approach this godly woman about this. I find it easy to talk to her
about
grief, wife, family, the business, but not this. You know, God, that
Paish is
probably our family’s closest spiritual mentor and friend. She was
event the
missionary our daughters wrote to while doing their missionary research
in
children’s church. She has been single for forty-eight years. She must
not want
to be married.
Several months after Wendie’s funeral I decided to ask
God if it would be ok to pursue Paish. As soon as I started to pray
about our
relationship, I got this sick feeling. It did not seem like God was
saying, “No,”
but something was wrong. I found out what that was when we met for a
visit in Oregon.
On July 15, I arrived in Portland, Oregon. We had a good time with her family and
my oldest
daughter’s family, down from Seattle. As the Lord directed our path we arrived
at the
church the next day half an hour before service was to begin. So I
asked Paish
to take a walk with me. After some small talk I asked her if she was
committed
to being single for the rest of her life. She said she wanted to do
what God
wanted her to do. All right, now I was getting somewhere. So with
shaking knees
and red face I asked if it would be ok for us to pray about our
possible future
together. I explained that this was not a proposal but I did not feel
free to
pray about us and I thought it was
because I did not have permission.
Paish said some nice things about me, but also told me
she did not see me as any more than a dear friend. However, she said it
would
be ok for me to pray about us. I did
not even notice at the time that she had not said she
would pray.
All right, God kept me from blowing it one more time.
Had
I not followed His gentle pulling at my very tender heart strings after
Wendie
passed away, I probably would have missed the answers God was going to
give.
Back in California for the first time since we had talked, I
tried to
pray about our relationship. This time I felt the freedom to move
forward. So I
settled into some serious prayer about whether Paish and I were
supposed to
spend the rest of our lives together. The only things for me to do were
pray
and wait for God to answer.
I should, at this point, go back to an event that
happened about two months after Wendie passed away. My oldest daughter
asked me
if I was going to date. I told her Paish was my first choice. She said
that her
sister and she had already agreed that no application was necessary if
it was
Paish. I thought, how wonderful it would
be if God had already set up my girls to love the woman I thought I was
supposed to pursue.
Seven months later I called Paish and offered to help
her
move to Canada. She said she would like that. In March,
2002, with
her seated beside me, I drove the truck loaded with her belongings to British Columbia. The day I was leaving, Paish took my
hands in hers
and we just sat and simply talked about life.
After spending twelve hours a day for four days with
this
lovely Kingdom Princess, I was convinced! However, I still did not know
what
she was asking God for or what she was hearing from Him.
As soon as I arrived in California I called and told her that I missed her.
She said
she missed me, too. It was four long months before we saw each other
again and
I heard those words from her lips that it was ok to move ahead.
---
How did this happen? One day I was a very contented
single woman, turning 50, ready for my new adventure in faith in Canada. Five months later I found myself engaged
to Ray
Gifford realizing God was behind it all. How did this happen?
When Ray and I went for that walk before church, I had
no
idea that the whole course of my life was about to change. By asking
permission
to only pray about a possible relationship, I felt so safe I readily
said,
“yes,” knowing full well that God would answer, “No!” It had nothing to
do with
Ray since I had always known him as a man of godly character. I was
about to
embark on a whole new adventure with God and it certainly did not seem
to have
marriage to anyone in it.
About a month after our talk I realized that if Ray was
praying, I needed to as well. I asked God to do three specific things
if this
was His plan.
As the months passed and the items on the list were
checked off, I began to wonder if God was actually trying to do
something
between us. The last thing on the list was: spend time together. So
when Ray
offered to help me make the move to Canada I thought, four days…twelve hours a
day…that should
show me something.
It did!
By the time we had arrived and installed everything,
Ray’s leaving was not what I wanted. What a surprised woman I was!
Realizing I missed him, could even fall in love with
him,
and sensing his complete openness to me, I began to pray very
differently. Over
the next three months God made it abundantly clear, in a plethora of
ways, that
He was behind all of this.
One of those ways was a recurring mental picture that
changed each time I spoke of God’s work between Ray and me. It started
as a sun-baked
desert, a cracked, dry, and barren place. That progressed to an empty
field
with a few blades of lonely grass, which became a lovely meadow, parted
by a
flowing stream. At last that once desert place had become a lush
verdant garden
filled with broad blades of grass, mature flowers, and refreshing shade
trees.
I knew this was not my imagination. God had to be in it.
While in my quiet time one morning, my regular reading
included Song of Solomon 2:7, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it is
time.”
God said clearly to me, “It’s time.”
A rendezvous had been planned for Portland for the end of June. That meant that I
waited for
two endless weeks more to speak to him face to face. Ten hours of
talking
brought us to the delightful conclusion that we were on a path that had
a
natural end – marriage – but only God knew when.
During that summer, talking to him nearly daily on the
phone, I found I had fallen off a cliff – in love – with Ray. That dry
area in
my heart was becoming more verdant green as each day passed.
September 6, 2002, was a workday for Ray. I had arrived the
day before.
Now sweaty and grimy, we had trekked together through dusty fields and
mounds
of dirt. After a bite to eat, Ray dropped to his knees and said,
“Paish, will
you marry me?” My heart pounding response was, “Yes!”
Gently he took me in his arms and kissed me. How
thankful
I was that this precious exchange had been saved for this wonderful
man, soon
to become my husband and priest! Arm in arm we watched the sun set on
one era.
A new one had begun. Life would never be the same!
How did this happen? One day at a time, one obedient
step
at a time, one glorious feeling at a time, as my loving heavenly Father
unfolded it – as I was ready.
---
Ray and
Patience were
married on September 13, 2003 in Portland, Oregon. Since then they have become a beautiful
expression
of God’s ability to meld two lives into one. Paish still does most of
the
teaching of young missionary trainees, but Ray’s quiet influence and
godly
counsel for the students, his prayer covering as Paish teaches, and
their
evident love for one another all serve as a living epistle of God’s
work in two
lives dedicated wholly to Him.
Since
their wedding day they
have ministered in Canada, Hawaii, Guatamala, New Jersey,
Perhaps
you would like to
help the Gifford’s ministry.
We will provide a U.S. IRS tax deductible receipt
for your check. Send it to: Beloved Ministries, P.O. Box 20218, Portland, OR 97294-0218 USA
