Abba
Ministries |
Abba Ministries |
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Remember that
the first step
in training young lives is to decide what behavior you want, then to
communicate and instruct the child toward that behavior. Correction is
to
follow the breaking or violation of previously established rules or
guidelines
with the view toward forming appropriaite behavior. If you're new
to this, you
might want to introduce your motivation and new methods through a
discussion of
point five, before the first infraction of the rules.
1. Establish
responsibility for the
disobedience. Ask, "What did you
do that was wrong?" (Not why?
but what?). The goal is to
have
the child mentally and verbally acknowledge his responsibility.
2. Avoid
embarrassment and outside
interference. Get alone. Only
with a very young child - who can't
remember long enough to link the discipline to the offense - should
discipline
be dealt with publicly.
3. Communicate
grief over the offense. Your
facial expression and words should
convey your sorrow over the offense.
4. Associate
love with correction. God's
love and your own should be evident.
5. Establish God
as the final authority. The
parent is God's delegated authority over
the child. However, make it your goal to
instill in the child a desire to please God. Don't
portray God as waiting to pounce on the offender.
6. Use a neutral
object - not the hand. "Foolishness
is bound in the heart of a
child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him,"
(Proverbs
22:15).
7. Discipline
until the will is broken. The
goal is to break the child's will, not
his spirit.
8. Comfort the
child after correction. A
hug and kind words will communicate
acceptance and unconditional love to the child.
9. Discuss any
appropriate restitution. Establish
the child's responsibility in the
restitution. It may include scrubbing the crayon marks off the walls or
working
off the cost of a broken window.
10. Evaluate your correction and your child's
response to it. Reflection will help
prepare you for future disciplinary needs.
Excerpted from Developing Godly Character in Children a Handbook and Resource Guide for Parents and Those Working with Children |